CORPORATE

Corporate!

Corporate.

Corporate?

Those three words, would best describe, anybody's view of the corporate culture through their growing years, but not necessarily in the same order.

I had not had much experience of how a corporate works like, and it looked all glittery, rich, and fun from where i stood.

People in smart attires, who looked so self assured, so confident; people who worked hard, and partied harder, the rich life style, the gizmos, the cars and the bikes, the dignified mannerism, the sophistication.. Ah the list is never ending. This is how I saw corporate life to be like, in my college days.

Until I stepped into it.

In fact, even after joining in, I was thrilled with the experiences, with the magnetism of such a life. We had a funny rule ( it is still there, but as far as I am concerned, it is in the past tense) of coming to the office in formals, with a tie on! In the initial days, I was more than enthusiastic to wear one, and learnt the various ways one could wear the tie, but the rule became more of a pain, than anything else! Why do you need to wear a tie, in the sweltering heat of India? To please the gore babus?

As I tried to absorb more, I saw people talking in an animated way, reacting the way as if they are governed by some rules! For example, you never say you disagree on something, you say- " I agree, but.."; as if such words make the listener feel very good about it! Oh gosh! What is the matter with people to be frank in what they have in mind!?

Of particular interest is the way women behave, women who have been there for some years. When they react, they take care to give the right "effect". The hand should be here, the eyebrows raised just enough, the head bent slightly, the body forward the proper way.. and such things. Yes, I agree that the body language should be pleasing, but do you practice for that? Too much of schooling takes you away from the rest of the world. That's probably the reason why kids who aren't all that studious are so street smart. They probably have a better feel of the pulse of the world around them.

We had a football tournament, and there was a team whose name was- DTTD.

What does DTTD stand for? Dangling tummies, Tackling Dummies! J

The team name speaks volumes about the state of the people, both physical and mental.

The life style makes you spend, and spend unnecessarily too! You must go to the costliest of the restaurants, get the costliest food, which generally will be fattiest, with all the exotic nuts and crusts, and stuff. You have Cheese crust Pizzas, because it is the newest in the market, and you want to flaunt your excesses! The result is the deteriorating physical health. No matter where I look, I see the fat asses, and the double chins!

Well, regarding the Tackling Dummies, the name suggests a lot. I leave it at that!

Being in this world, some things rub off onto you, specifically the words..

Words which you would never have heard being used in the "normal" world!

Words and "jargons" such as EOD, COB, forecast date, status reports, master plan, detailed analysis.. I doubt whether there is an end to such jargons! There are a hundred words, which mean the same thing! And a new jargon is added to make the language less understandable by the layman! Try guessing what this phrase mean- "I will be on PTO tomorrow". J

Being politically correct in your words is very important here. Recently Bangalore was renamed Bengalooru. This was the actual name of the city, which is how it has always been referred to by the local population. I saw most of the corporate heads presenting their apprehension and reservation in the media. Except a few. Subrato Bagchi had said- “If this is the wish of the people of the city and the state, then we should embrace it”. I wonder whether such words would ever come from an NRN, or any of his Infosys babus.

<>Brand names matter here. And we tend to become brand conscious..
You cannot buy anything which is not great brand! If it is not a Red Tape, a Zodiac, a BlackBerry, a Vaio, a Crocodile, a Levis, a Nike, and a Jockey, man, you are yet to grow up!

I had read in an article, that the biggest drawback of Indian techies is that they are not good in communication. Later on I understood that, the author meant to say, we are not good at Show and Tell. You are supposed to be an evangelist! And go preach the world that you are the best, or your product is the best.

Taking a cue from there, I should say, this is the best one could summarize what corporate is all about!

You see the overweight, rich honchos, dressed obscenely richly, flashing their newly acquired gadget, and coming in the fabelic "lambi gaadi", and you realise - it is all show and tell. The quality of life, may really not be as good.

Finally, corporate life is the way one sees it. One can embrace it, reject it, or be just apprehensive about it.

We all are born with a quota of stupidity!

I just took up a, what do you call, a stupidity test!
And this is what it popped out-




Overall, you scored as follows:

93% scored higher (more stupid),
2% scored the same, and
5% scored lower (less stupid).

What does this mean? You are 5% stupid. This means...

You are our next Einstein. Wow! Keep up the great thinking.


Here is the link, if ,say, you want your own stupidity to be measured!! :)
http://www.nerdtests.com/ft_stupid.php

This makes me remember Prof. Ashok Rao's saying- " we all are born with a quota of stupidity, and unless you ask them and clear them, you remain stupid"..

No wonder, he is so smart!! ;)

Well.. folks, I understand now; writing and maintaining a blog is not everyone's cup of tea! What the heck, even writing a title for this edit kept me staring at the monitor for a full two minutes, and even then, i could not come up with anything! So here goes- my first creation, does not have a title! You see, our lives too din't begin with a title attached; so wont my blog!